Reconnecting

My extended family has been an oddity all my life. For some unknown and never explained reason, we never visited and rarely talked about my dad's side of the family. We often visited and were visited by my mom's family. I have wonderful memories of the farm my mother grew up on and time spent with her siblings and mother. But I know very little about my father's siblings or parents.

His older sister died while I was young. My little sister was a flower girl in Dad's sister's daughter's wedding. Odd way to say that, I know, but it's hard to think of her as a cousin, or Dad's niece. That was close to 30 years ago. I know so little about all these cousins I have, and their children. And some of them lived very close to where I grew up. A couple of them are even a little famous in music circles. Still, we could pass each other on the street and have no idea we're related.

Last week I got an email from one cousin announcing plans for a family reunion in August, and for a celebration of his parents' 50th wedding anniversary. This would be my father's brother.

I remember visiting Dad's mother once. Main thing I remember is that her husband (Dad's stepfather) drove an oil truck, and that their telephone had no dial. Town was so small you had to connect through an operator. This was in the 60s, in a rural area, so it's not that surprising.

I also remember visiting Dad's father once, I think in Michigan at a campsite. I remember he tried to frighten us with stories of an Indian burial ground. And I remember being a little scared, but laughing about it, too.

I have many more memories about my mother's family. And I'm a little sad and a little angry that I don't know more about my paternal relatives. I'm not even sure how many there are.

So I've always envied my wife for being close to her extended family, able to discuss their day-to-day activities with some understanding, able to trace her lineage to each relative named, or at least come close. That sort of family connection has been missing in my life, which explains why I have no sense of belonging anywhere.

So I think we may go to my aunt and uncle's 50th wedding anniversary celebration. I think it's about time I meet my cousins. I know I feel awkward and out of place. But one aunt died while I was young, so I never got to meet her. An uncle died just a few years ago, and I never met him. I think it's time to reconnect, and maybe find a bit of myself in this people.