Because We Still Have Free Time

I wonder how long before this appears somewhere in the states?

TWO Belgian beer fans have launched a video game named Place to Pee, which allows players to fly down ski slopes or kill aliens while relieving themselves at urinals.

Werner Dupont, a software developer and Bart Geraets, an electrical engineer, got the idea while drinking beers.

The Place to Pee' booth is designed for two users at a time and offers two games - blowing up aliens in outer space or skiing down a virtual slope.

Gamers hit their target by aiming at sensors positioned on either side of the urinal.

A specially designed paper cone allows women to play too, the inventors say.

Their Place to Pee logo resembles Manneken Pis, the little urinating boy fountain that is among Brussels' top sightseeing attractions.

Piano Playing

I found this several months ago. It's cute.

The Few, The Proud, The Gullible

It seems the Nigerian businessman/government official has enlisted in the U.S. Marines and is now serving in Iraq:

From: Lieutenant Colonel William Adams
Reply-To: adams_williams111@ubbi.com
Subject: Re:From Lieutenant Colonel William Adams{A US MARINE IN IRAQ}

Attention Please!!!

Greetings to you!

I am Lieutenant Colonel William Adams...a US MARINE in Iraq.As you may Know,there areseveral cases of insurgents attacks and suicide bombing going on here.However We managed to move funds belonging to some deceased persons who were attacked and killed through insurgent attacks.The total amount is US$25 Million dollars in cash.

We want to move this money to you so that you may keep our share for us untill when we shall come over to meet You. We will take 70%, my partner and I while you take 30%.No strings attached.Just help us move it out of Iraq as Iraq we all know is a war zone.Note that We plan to use the British Diplomatic courier in shipping the money out in two large metallic Boxes,using diplomatic immunity.If you are interested I will send you the full details.

My job is to find a good partner that we can trust and that will assist us. Can I trust you? When you receive this letter, kindly send me an e-mail signifying your interest including your most confidential telephone/fax numbers for quick communication and also your contact details. This business is risk free. Get back to me immediately for more directives.

Respectfully,
Lieutenant Colonel Williams Adams

I had no idea the Marines used a dot com URL. But this marine is serving under the influence (Lit.Col.William). And this scheme of his doesn't sound very honorable. But at least we're assured the money comes from people attacked and killed through insurgent attacks.

Would accepting this offer be considered supporting the troops?

Fun with the Weather Guy

One of the most enjoyable aspects of my job is stuff like this. Always a good day when you have some fun with the weather guy.

LIVE Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry

This struck my funny bone. Hard. Chortle. Snort.

Memo to the masses: The phrase "deer in the headlights look" will now be replaced with "are we live look" or "rabbit in a live shot look."

Surreality

Working away at preparing a newscast and the phone won't stop ringing. Most of the calls are directed toward the sports department with high school scores. Based on the number of them I know I need to allow some extra time for sports.

Then a phone call is answered by someone else in the newsroom...and I pause upon hearing one side of the conversation.

"No, ma'am, I don't know how the voting works on 'Dancing With the Stars.'"
"I'm sure they're aware of the problem, but you could call ABC."
"Well, I hope you'll keep trying. I'm sure it will be OK."

The things people will call the news department about, I think to myself.

A few minutes later, another phone call. This time I get both sides of the conversation.

"I've been trying to vote on 'Dancing With the Stars' all night and all I get is a busy signal."

"I'm sorry to hear about that, ma'am. I guess a lot of people must be voting tonight."

"I've never had this much trouble getting through before and I've been calling all night and only get a busy signal. There must be something wrong. Or have they turned off the voting early?"

"I don't know ma'am, I'm not aware of any problems. I'm sure the system must just be overloaded. But that's ABC, not a local program."

"Well, I've been trying to vote all night and just get a busy signal and they're going to cut off the voting here in just a few minutes and something seems to be wrong with the voting."

"I'm sorry you've been having difficulties, ma'am. I'm sure there are many people trying to vote and the system is overloaded."

"Well on other weeks I haven't been able to get all my votes in. You're supposed to get up to three votes from a single phone number, and I've got three different phones with different numbers and I never get more than five votes before they cut me off, and I'm not getting all the votes I'm supposed to get."

"I'm very sorry, but I don't really have any information on how the voting works. It's an ABC program and you will need to contact ABC."

"Well, I thought you'd want to know because you run the program on your station and there's something wrong with the voting on that show and people need to know about it."

"Yes, ma'am. And I'll pass along your concerns to our program director, but we really have no control over that show. You really should call ABC. Would you like their number?"

"No, I just think there's something wrong with the voting on that show and people need to know because I've been trying to call all night and can't get through and I'm not getting the votes I'm supposed to get."

"Yes, ma'am, I'm sorry about that. I'll pass the information along to our program director."

"OK, but I really think you should investigate because I don't think the voting is correct on that show."

Millions are unemployed. Millions are homeless. Millions are hungry. Millions are uninsured. There is turmoil in many parts of the world. But for this caller, the most important news story of the day is that voting on "Dancing With the Stars" may be corrupt.

Hi There!

Yes, I've been a very bad blogger lately. My last post was in October. Wow. Just, wow.

I'll try to have more to say in the coming days. But here's a funny for my faithful readers:

Many of us are guilty of looking at others our own age and thinking, "Surely, I can't be that old". If you've ever done this, then you'll appreciate the following.

My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.

I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, grey-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.

"Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a mustang," he gleamed with pride.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.

"In 1965," he replied. "Why do you ask?"

"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely ... and then that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat ass, grey-haired decrepit son-xx-x-xxxxx asked, "What did you teach?"

Ba-dump-bump. Thank you, I'll be here all week. Try the veal.

Backstreet Boy-d

Like 'em or not, the Backstreet Boys had/have plenty of fans. Go check out this one. Guaranteed to put a smile on your face.

Blonde Joke No. 2

Miss Teen USA 2007 finalist, Lauren Caitlin Upton of South Carolina, on her fellow Americans' poor grasp of geography:



Remember, it's not a beauty pageant. It's a scholarship pageant.

Today's Funny

Two blondes are walking in a forest and come across a pair of tracks,
1st blonde: "How cute deer tracks!"
2nd blonde "Those are dog? tracks!"
1st blonde: "Deer tracks!"
2nd blonde "Dog tracks"
1st blonde: "Deer tracks!"
2nd blonde "Dog tracks"
They argued for almost an hour before they got hit by the train.

Now We Have Everything

The Springfield News-Leader informs us of the latest effort to curb drunk driving -- talking urinal cakes.

Missouri’s annual, end-of-summer campaign to stop drunken driving has added a new tactic, Missouri Department of Transportation announced today.

Organizers of “You Drink and Drive. You Lose” will have talking urinal cakes placed in restrooms at Missouri alcohol-serving establishments.

The effort is aimed at men ages 21 to 34, who are the most common offenders.

Male patrons will receive the following message from a female voice:

“Hey big guy, going out tonight? Having a few drinks? Make sure if you’re drinking, you find a sober driver. Because if you drink and drive, the next urinal you use could be in jail. Remember, your future is in your hand.”

We wonder how some bar patrons, likely in a bit of a stupor, will react to that female voice. Coming from the urinal. And will some patrons talk back?

Of course, that female voice is making an assumption about some patrons. But perhaps flattery will work. Love the tag line.

What Will We Tell the Children?

A certain weather person at one of the THREE local television operations did an excellent job keeping Ozarkers informed of the quick-moving severe storms on Saturday. However, my SPIDEY sense tingled when this weather person appeared on camera in the afternoon sans suit coat. I thought casual day was Friday?

"Please let thar be uh bottle uh Jack in muh room"

AP Photo/Ron Edmonds

"So is the little lady here ennuh good in bed?"

AP Photo/Gerald Herbert

"Yo! Ennuhbuddy here habahlo englese?"

AP Photo/Charles Dharapak

President Bush spoke Thursday at the National Hispanic Prayer Breakfast.

NASA Seeks Help with Space Station

Baffled by the failure of all six main control computers on the international space station's Russian segment, NASA enginners call the Elite Task Force for help.

"And oh, what heights we'll hit!"

"On with the show, this is it!"
(with apologies to Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck)

REUTERS/Joshua Roberts

Branson's New Christmas Show?

Having lost the Radio City Rockettes Christmas Show in 2004, perhaps these soldiers of Russia's elite Dzerzhinsky division may provide high-kicking entertainment?

REUTERS/Alexander Natruskin

Curious George

There'r no winders. Howsa pilot see where's he going?

REUTERS/Jason Reed